No Radiation on Weekends!

Two days with no required places to be. We have figured out that Tom is not really Godzilla, and that the radiation treatments have not filled him with exuburant energy and feisty antics. So far no bad side effects. Heck that's something! So we headed out to run some errands and enjoy the  unexpected sunny day.

Saw this cute little lamb down the road. 

I drove to few places Tom wanted to go to, then he accompanied  me to Farmington Gardens. While I shopped for a few more flowering plants to put in pots, he relaxed in the sunny garden area.

Tomorrow we will drive to Seaside and have some shrimp/salmon/chips at the Bell Buoy before checking out the surfers at the cove.   

Rocking benches!

Doing our best to enjoy life.

Peaceful path.

Tom is like Godzilla!

Tom had his first radiation treatment today. And he liked it!  When I asked him about it he said it was relaxing and that he almost fell asleep. Afterwards he said he felt immediately better.  The pain he has been feeling for weeks was gone. 

We decided that he is like Godzilla; radiation just makes him stronger and ready to stomp Japan!

Tom before radiation treatment.

Tom after radiation treatment.

BIG Trees

The weather cleared a bit and it was sunny for most of the day, so we went out.  We did a few errands then had lunch at Tumbleweeds and Primroses on Main Street in downtown Hillsboro. They always have a sign out front extolling the virtues of their Hungarian Mushroom Soup, so today was the day. Its basically a wine bar with food. Food that goes well with wine.  The soup was delicious as advertised and went well with the Pesto turkey panini on olive bread we split.

Tom sipping coke in a wine bar.

But, what does all this have to do with big trees you ask? Ah yes. After lunch we went to sit on a sunny bench across the street from the Washington County Courthouse with the big Sequoias.

Sequoias in Oregon? In the land of the Douglas Fir tree, why are there Sequoias?

Many of the Sequoia, especially those in Hillsboro, Oregon are attributed to the Porter family who came west to Oregon, from Ohio, in 1847. John Porter developed an interest in trees and started a nursery on his farm.

He then heard about gold, and rushed to the California gold country. Being a tree farmer, he was taken with a Sequoia forest in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. He didn't strike it rich in gold country but he did, according to the story, fill his saddle bags with Sequoia seed cones and returned to his tree farm in Oregon.

He cultivated the seeds and went around Washington County planting seedlings and sold them to those wanting unusual trees on their property.

We sat across the street from the small grove of Sequoias leading the way to the old doors to the courthouse. Five trees remain of the original eight that were planted. I love these trees and visit them often. 

View from the bench

That's Tom on the bench, lower right.

Up close and personal

I love these big trees!

Living in the Present

We have been on hold for the last few days. No appointments of any kind. This post is not about Tom or me, but a filler post about living in the present moment. It's something I've been trying to practice for the last few years. I like the way Richard Carlson describes it in his book Don't Sweat the Small Stuff (Hyperion, 114 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10011, copyright 1997)

To a large degree, the measure of our peace of mind is determined by how much we are able to live in the present moment.  Irrespective of what happened yesterday or last year, and what may or may not happen tomorrow, the present moment is where you are---always!

Without question, many of us have mastered the neurotic art of spending much of our lives, worrying about a variety of things---all at once. We allow past problems and future concerns to dominate our present moments, so much so that we end up anxious, frustrated, depressed, and hopeless. On the flip side, we also postpone our gratification, our stated priorities, and our happiness, often convincing ourselves that "someday" will be better than today. Unfortunately, the same mental dynamics that tell us to took toward the future will only repeat themselves so that "someday" never actually arrives. John Lennon once said,"Life is what's happening while we're busy making other plans." When we're busy making "other plans," our children are busy growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape and our dreams are slipping away. In short, we miss out on life.

Many people live as if life were a dress rehearsal  for some later date. It isn't. In fact, no one has a guarantee that he or she will be here tomorrow. Now is the only time we have, and the only time that we have any control over. When our attention is in the present moment, we push fear from our minds. Fear is the concern of events that might happen in the future-- we won't have enough  money,  our children will get into trouble, we will get old and die, whatever.

To combat fear, the best strategy is to learn to bring your attention back to the present. Mark Twain said,"I have been through  some terrible things in my life, some of which really happened." I don't think I can say it any better. Practice keeping your attention on the here and now. Your efforts will pay great dividends.

Poker and Starbucks

Knowing it was the last sunny day for a while, we spent yesterday morning on the deck. Tom loves when I play poker with him and I guess that's my job now.  

Smile for your fans.

Selfie

I tried to cheat him out of a dime. Now it's our little joke.

Super duper shuffler.
In the afternoon we took a trip to Freddy's.  Tom wanted ice-cream  and I wanted a few flowers to put in pots.
Last stop...Starbucks.

Rice Krispy Treat.

Surprise! He's reading a newspaper!

The Death Angel

Last month when Tom went to meet his radiation oncologist at the Radiation Oncology Building on North Interstate,  I was not with him. He described Dr. McDonald as a young, pretty blond with a ponytail and Ugg boots.  Very outdoorsy looking. Of all the doctors he had met, she was the only one to say something to Tom that immediately earned her a nickname.  Her second comment to him was "This will eventually kill you."

He had to return today to North Interstate to again be scanned to determine the exact location for the radiation.  This was the facility that gave us a schedule of twelve, 3:30 am appointments when we left the hospital. (They told us their computer has been broken for 10 years so they assign "ungodly hours" and wait for people to call.    ?    )      I wanted to meet this Death Angel doctor.

We took the winding route over Germantown Road, across the St. John's Bridge and all the way down Lombard Street until we came to Interstate.  I lived in St. Johns when I first moved to Portland.  Way down past the bridge on North Syracuse Street.  My Portland friends never wanted to drive "all the way out to St. Johns". It was not really considered Portland to most Portlanders.  Where is that?  When I got pregnant with Amanda, I was teaching Kindergarten at James John Elementary School. I drove the Germantown route from Dixie Mountain to St. Johns five days a week for two and a half years.  I enjoyed seeing today what had changed and what still remained from 29 years ago.

The drive took an hour and we arrived 5 minutes late.  I was not allow to accompany Tom in the back area. I did manage to find the tea area, some good magazines, and snagged a comfy chair that elevated my feet. Of course I was ready to give it up at a moments notice if someone looked at all like they wanted or needed to sit in that chair. The waiting room was filled mostly with people waiting for someone getting a treatment, and predominately older woman. Like me :-)

Tom's appointment went smoothly and we were given a more-godly schedule time-wise. Five days a week for three weeks starting on the 26th.  When I asked Tom if he saw the Death Angel again he shook his head no and slowly said "My eyes were closed but I think I heard her voice."

* All other doctors feel Tom has a chance to beat the cancer or at least hold it at bay for quite a while. I have heard so many stories starting with "my (insert relationship) had advanced cancer and the doctors told him/her that he/she had 6 months to live" and ending with "and that was 20 years ago and she/he is still alive and doing well".

All I have today are boring waiting room pics, but as Katie commented about Sunnyside,  Kaiser facilities look kind of zen. They've come a long way from the
very old Catholic Hospitals (St. Mary's in Orange, St. James in Newark) that I visited my grandmother at in New Jersey years ago, They were dreary and forbidding places.

Just for fun.  In the shark mouth are clockwise from left, Tom , Allison, Aaron, and Amanda.  Aaron is Amanda's fiancee. We were at the Portland Aquarium before it closed for good, celebrating Amanda's birthday this past January 21st. 

Home at last, home at last!

This morning we went to Colostomy College and got our diplomas! After that Tom got an honorable discharge from Sunnyside. On the way home we stopped at Freddy's for some supplies (newspapers and treats included) and Tom is now happily enjoying being home. No more being disturbed for all that finger jabbing and needle poking.  Tom thought he would try some home grown medicine  for a change.

Exhale...

Inhale...

What's inside Clackamas Town Center?

Yikes, my closet from 1972.

I'm getting the hang of posting pictures. Everytime I run over to the mall to get Tom his newspapers, I take a few photos.

Should I buy this dress?

This guy is really big!

Do you want this?

Oh no he's not.

It was finally decided that Tom should stay until tomorrow so he can meet with the ostomy nurse and have a little more experience with his new supplies. He's in a good mood now that the Yankees beat the Mariners 4-3 and he will get to watch the Blazer Playoff game tonight.  I got him a Starbucks Vanilla Latte and a Sunday New York Times and he is a happy camper.  No roommate in his room since yesterday so we've got the place to ourselves. This must be the time when I post some pictures.

Outside waterfall by cafe

Some photos of Sunnyside Medical Center where we are.

One of the little sitting areas

Art near entryway

Garden area along the indoor walkway.

Tom is going home.

They told him he could go home today.  He's excited to go. Right now he is watching the watching the Yankees play Seattle (4 to 3 Yankees).  His discharge  papers have 11 appointments scheduled at Interstate at 3:00am.  We are getting that looked into. 3:00am???

I stayed at the nearby Motel 6 last night with my friend Cindy.  It's a three minute walk to here.  We just had breakfast at the lovely hospital cafe and checked out of the motel.  Cindy is on her way home and Tom and I are awaiting his official discharge.

The First Meal

Tom was approved for solid food. They gave him a menu and he ordered a small salad, pepperoni pizza and Mac and cheese. He was hungry!   I was somewhere else in the hospital when he ate his lunch.  It proved to be a big mistake.  He was VERY uncomfortable for quite a while. I think they really should have given him some guidance on his selection.  So remember, don't order pepperoni pizza the day after your colostomy surgery!

The day after surgery.

Tom is feeling pretty good.  He's been walking around and has graduated to solid food. I arrived with the Sunday Wall Street Journal and Sunday Oregonian (minus those pesky ads). He allowed me to take his picture.

Today before I came here I finished my lesson plans and went to school to drop off the plans and my computer. I will miss my class and my computer, but I am using my new computer in training. I am on leave for the rest of  the school year, using 44 of the sick leave days I've saved up. My class was getting quite feisty the last week with the scent of spring in the air and summer vacation on the horizon. Hope Mrs. Van Hooser my sub can manage my 28 cherubs  and enjoy the rest of the year with them.  I'm on a quite different schedule and path right now. I think I hear the call of the cafeteria. Tom and his roommate are snoring away.  

Post Op

They "buzzed" me about an hour and a half later to tell me I could see him.  He was very groggy but was happy to have a little button in his hand that administered pain killer directly into his bloodstream whenever he wished.  The other thing he wished was that I would go find him sustenance, meaning newspapers to read.  He really wanted a New York Times. Then he fell asleep and I watched him sleep for an hour. The next time he stirred I told him I would go hunt down some newspapers for him. He smiled, nodded and went back to sleep.

I quickly discovered that Clackamas Town Center was only a short drive away. I arrived five minutes later but it took me 13 minutes to find a parking space.  I thought it must have been Free Day at the mall. I got Barnes and Noble's last New York Times, an Oregonian and a Willamette Week.  Then I walked the mall top story and bottom.  It is a huge mall. Even my orthopedic shoes were hurting by the time I was done.  (I will now attempt to add some mall picture I took.  It's still my first day blogging and I'm not sure I know how to add the photos).

Ok. That took me one hour.  There has got to be a better way. The wedding stuff was to show Amanda because she is planning her wedding.  The Trance balloons too.  Now I'm tired. Tom said I should go home. All the pretty  nurses will take care of him.  One asked him if he wanted ice cream or raspberry sherbet.  He told her he wanted them mixed together like he does at home, so she made him a creamy, yummy mix.  He is in good hands.  I'm ready to drive the 40.5 miles home. More later.

Waiting Room Vibrations

I have been writing everything up to now while sitting in the waiting room at Sunnyside Medical Center while Tom is having his surgery.  We got up at 4:00 and checked in here at 5:30am.  At least there was no traffic because it is a 40 mile drive from our house.  They gave me a pager to call me on and when it went off in my pants I jumped and yelled and amused the people sitting by me.

Sunnyside is a beautiful hospital.  Spacious and filled with interesting artwork.  It also has a great cafeteria that can sit hundreds of people but is arranged in more cozy eating areas.  Right now I am sitting by a glass wall which looks out on to a cascading waterfall and pond area. My veggie omelet with cheese, sour cream and salsa was yummy.

I met with the surgeon who told me that things went well.  It will be an hour or two before I get to see Tom.  The vibrating pager is still in my pants.  I am expecting a vibrating, shocking surprise soon!

Spring Break!

It was Spring break week.  We cancelled our beach plans and my plans to go to Bend with Nadina. I called everyday and on Thursday someone cancelled and we prepped (actually Tom prepped but I helped :-)   Dr. Speer did the colonoscopy. He sent out some pictures for us to look at before he came and met with us.  Although he told us he found a tumor that was probably cancerous (98% chance but not positive until the biopsy was completed) every word that came from his lips was comforting and encouraging.  Tom and I both loved him immediately.  In the next few days he shared his phone number and told us to text or phone with any questions and he would get back to us as soon as he could.  We spoke with him twice more and every time it was comforting to hear his voice.

One good thing that happened is that Tom was prescribed Hydromorphone which is a pill form of morphene.  This seemed to help with the pain and allowed Tom to sleep. We graduated from the 3 Stooges level of doctors to the specialists who seemed to know what they were doing. Tom got a CAT -Scan and a MRI to diagnose exactly where the cancer was and if it had spread. They detected a 7cm tumor in Tom's rectum and another 5cm one that is wrapped around a nerve by his sacrum.

We got in to see the surgeon, Dr. Parsons, earlier than scheduled because the biopsy did not show cancer cells and they wanted to do another one.  Dr. Parsons took another biopsy and discussed treatment options.  Tom immediately bonded with Dr. Parsons, a local guy who went to Jesuit High School and grew up in Beaverton.  He recommended doing a colostomy before starting radiation to shrink the tumors, because sometimes they swell up before shrinking from the radiation. This also allows the rectum area to heal better.  Two weeks of healing after the colostomy and then radiation everyday for 5 weeks.  About a months wait after that to allow the tumors to keep shrinking. Then the big removal surgery!

How It Started

On a Wednesday morning in mid March at 5:15 am as I was getting up for work, Tom came into the bedroom and asked me to take him to the hospital after work that day. "What's the matter honey?" He proceeded to tell me that he hadn't slept in a week because he was having a pain that kept him awake and he had to get some sleep.  When I asked him why he didn't just drive himself to the doctor that day he told me he was sure they were going to immediately check him into the hospital and he didn't want to leave his car in the lot. If I drove him that wouldn't be a problem.  He looked at me and started telling me how we had had a great 30 years together, which of course started us both crying.

I agreed to come home early after work and drive him to urgent care instead of the emergency room that he requested.  At Beaverton urgent care that evening he was diagnosed with prostatitis which is an infection in the prostate. They gave him some hydrocodone for pain which mentally made him feel better and we went home relieved.

The pain relief didn't help him at all, and ran out in two days with no renewals.  We went back in to urgent care two days later where he was given some anti anxiety medicine and two days worth of oxycodone. Well the next week was filled with four more visits to urgent care with the goal of getting something that would enable him to sleep. His primary care doctor was going to see him in three more days.  In these two weeks we met the 3 Stooges of doctors, who prescribed him anti depressants  and told him he needed to do relaxation exercises and to stop describing the pain he was feeling because "we need to just focus on one thing at a time, Mr. Gorman" as they patted him on the shoulder.

All this was done with no examination. No doctor did more than listen to his heart, take his blood pressure and listen to his symptoms.  He had pages and pages of information of how to relieve anxiety while he tried to explain that he was anxious because he was in pain and couldn't sleep.

Dr. Sy, his primary doctor, finally examined him on a Tuesday in late March.  He ordered blood work and put in an order for an urgent colonoscopy.  He prescribed more oxycodone (which wasn't helping) and scheduled an appointment to see him in two weeks.  When the gastrointestinal people called they told him he was scheduled for May 15.  We told them the doctor had written "urgent" on the request but were told "they all say that."  After fighting with them for a few days, we got one scheduled for April 21 and were told to call in each day in case there was a cancellation.